The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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