Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
and she was petting her beer can
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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