My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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