Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize