Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
