id be glad to
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
