the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Randomize
