Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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