I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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