the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
