think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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