Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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