maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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