My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
