I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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