That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
