At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
