How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
