real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
