Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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