I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
