I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
