I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
