Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
