broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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