we have officially lost it.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
