There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
