i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
