Non-Jews are for practice
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
