I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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