Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize