did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
