He asked me if I "almost moaned"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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