Kiss
Puke
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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