my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
