I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
