is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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