Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
