Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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