Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
