dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
