I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
