Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
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dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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