you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
