We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
