I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
