If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
