is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
