apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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