why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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