the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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