don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
