I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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