I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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