Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
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Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
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He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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