babies were throwing up all over the place
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
