could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
