Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Can I color on your dick again?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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