It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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